Morley-isms (Just For Laughs)
Some of the Morley-centric term’s collected over the years (or made up by the “author” of the article)
Bag of skittles – A bag of all candy plastic discs arranged in a rainbow
Morley burger – A JIB Breakfast Jack with hashbrowns in the middle
Cooler mud – place soft, cold, wet cooler on the ground, pick it up, drag it to the next hole, set it on bench. Cooler mud
Mr. Microphone – dude with over-developed vocal cords. Not neccasarily trying to talk loud yet can be heard from most surrounding holes. Guaranteed to cost all players on his card +3 strokes. Usually found obnoxious player but not always.
Baggette – A female bagger
Diaper bag – A brand new bag full of brand new discs
Fo… – the sound you hear .002 seconds before being clocked with a stray disc
The Ray-Ray – The player that makes the run to Rays Liquor to buy supplies for his group. Veteran “Ray-Rays” can leave hole 3 on a crowded weekend, make purchases and return before group tee’s off on said hole 3.
A Brady Bunch – A group of 6+ fun and friendly family members refusing to break up into two groups
Stoners – See tree. See disc. See disc in tree. See rock. Throw rock. Become hero (or one dollar richer)
“A Tosser” – any disc golfer having not earned the right to empty their bag on hole #19 at Morley (against course etiquette anyway). This “right” is set aside for those that actually possess the physical ability to reach (“park”) or surpass the current pin position(s) on hole #19 with their drives.“Tossers” will confuse most of the following attributes as justification to empty their bag… - Many “play bands” on their quad-straps, Their tee shot (distance in feet) = (their weight) +15ft, A full Innova Competition bag or larger, “brand spankin new” discs, wearing a Huk-Lab or DD hat or shirt. If you are still not sure if you are a “Tosser” listen for feedback. If you hear “WOWs! after your throws, you’re good to go. If there is silence or mumbling coming from behind as you walk off the pad, you probably are a “Tosser”. (so no one takes offense, this writer can 1) barely out throw his weight and owns a Huk-Lab tek-dry shirt. I know my place.)
Ball hog – One who collects golf balls on hole #17 from errant shots by the old folks on the ball golf course across the street.
Brown ace – a errant drive from a tee-pad into a thrash can
Pink ace – camping on any short pin placement, repeatedly empting bag, throw after throw until making said “ace”.
Yellow Ace – errant drive from hole #14 making its way into the men’s room
Floppers – An ill advised player wearing flip-flops during their round. May also remove said flip-flops on tee-pad to drive. Que?
Hittin’ the pipes – a roller shot up the middle on hole #17 “interrupted” by one of the two pipes crossing the path. Note: this phenomenon began in early 1990’s as the pipes were previously still beneath the surface.
The out-out houses – Shrubbery on holes #8 and #11
DJ Jazzy Jeff – The un-solicited, self-appointed disc jockey for “HIS” group and all groups two ahead and two back. Usually found spinning House/Techno, Reggae (Bob Marley) – approved, Dave Matthews, cliché 70’s (Zepplin, Dead), Beck, Beasties or NIN. Most played at high volumes on cheap speakers hence ruining a chance anyone “appreciating” his “gift” to others.
Snapper poles – dead thin tree trunks or large branches planted / cemented into the ground to make specific holes more difficult. Prominent on holes #17, #10, #12 and #9
Disc Supremacists – a disc golfer that believes that their brand of disc is the “best” and all others are incompetent.
Bench clearer – a fart while sitting on a Morley bench
Tourists – an out of town disc golfer who starts his introductory sentace with … “Where I’m from …”, usually followed by “there is no pay to play”, or “_________”.Now as San Diego is a tourist destination we greatly appreciate your visit and the income you bring to our great city BUT, please remember that where you are from (Texas, Alabama, Idaho, Arizona, Nevada, Kansas, etc…) property values are much different than in San Diego. Property value in SoCal is equal to a 24k, diamond encrusted crown in comparison to most “out of towners” home property value which is equal to the toy that come in a box of cereal. No offense. jk :)
“Fratters” – Bermuda shorts, tanks tops (usually pastel), neon sun glasses from 7-11 and carrying a styrofoam cooler (possibly also purchased at a 7-11)
Arnold’s – “Sun’s out, Gun’s out”.
Walk of shame – the walk to retrieve a pole from the shop after getting stuck in a high tree branch
The Backstop – the person who parks directly behind position E on Hole #2 thinking they found the holy grail of Morley parking spots.
Herding – Herding is a natural animal/human trait. In the “disc-golfer” species it presents itself as follows… Tim, Tom, Terry, Tracy, Ted and Kevin all throw from the teepad. Kevin throws a typical very short shot, maybe 75 feet off the teepad. ALL of Kevin’s friends laugh and joke as they ALL walk (usually slowly) to Kevin’s disc where they huddle and witness another short throw. Now ALL of the players walk over to Tim’s disc, still joking with Kevin about his apparent lack of athleticism. ALL of the players stand and watch Tim’s throw, then ALL walk over to Ted’s, ALL over to Kevin’s again, ALL move over to Terry’s, on and on and on, multiply by 19 holes… insanity for the group(s) behind.
—- UPDATED 9 28 12 —-
A Green Ace – any shot to make it through one of the three openings on the cement mural wall into the nursery
A Double Dipper – the player who 1) shoots + 5 or more on average. 2) throws two discs multiple times during a round 3) on his card of 4-6 players and/or 4) with 2-5 groups waiting behind him. Usually rude. (thanks Grace!)